Wednesday, 6 April 2016


 I dey my own  o, dey think about my life when this message from MTN entered my phone

MTN better me, recharege #2015 to get 2015mb data. Valid for 30 days*

The offer sounds good so I decided to try it.

I started running around looking for money( na im pain me pass). Finally I was able to raise the money, I subscribed and 2015mb ie 2 gb was given to me , I happy well well.

I will browse for a little while, log out and check my balance (that is what caused the problem). 
Whenever I dialed *123*4*2#, instead of my balance to show straightaway, a list numbering 1-5 will pop up.

No 1 is to buy
No 2 is to check balance
No 3 is to cancel subscription
No 4 is to cancel auto renew and so forth

The next day, I was very busy in the morning, I was browsing and cooking at the same time. After a while, I checked my balance, and I got this message.

*You have successfully cancelled your subscription.* Chei yippee, I don die ooo. i screamed

I wore my clothe sharp sharp  and started running to mtn office( it was when I reached their office that I noticed that I was not wearing bra choi!) 

As I was running ,swearing and cursing , I met one busy body woman in my area, she started shouting my name,

Busy body:  hey ! hey chy, where are you rushing to like that ? wetin be the problem?

Me:  Na mtn

Busy body:  mtn ke? Wetin they do you?

Me: They thief my data

Busy body: ah! Wetin be data?

Me: data na mb

Busy body:  wetin be mb again?

I gave her a dangerous look, she saw that I’m highly annoyed and she just smiled,

Busy body:  Okay, I don sabi am, I even get am too. Thank you for telling me, I will guard my own with a jealous heart so mtn and co no go thief am. Take am easy……..

She was still ranting as I crossed the road. As I reached mtn office, I was directed to a male staff.

Staff:  hello madam what can I do for you?

*Oga I lost my data*

*What do you mean by that? Pls can you explain very well?*

*Ok, I was browsing this morning, and I wanted to go and check what I was cooking in the kitchen*

Staff:  Go on. he urged me.

Me: Then I decided to check my balance

Staff: and?

Me: I pressed no 2 which is for checking of balance and I got a message that I have successfully cancelled my subscription. How I go cancel my subscription of two thousand  naira eh? I be thief or ah be ashawo huh?

Staff:  ok let me check the system. He checked the system for a minute and released a bombshell.

*Madam it’s you that cancelled the subscription by 11 am this morning. May be you mistakenly pressed no 3 and that means  to cancel.*

Me: ok maybe I made a mistake but can you rectify it? You can recover my data right?

Staff: well this is computer controlled, once you enter a command, it carries it out, there is nothing I can do about it.

Me: meaning?

Staff: Meaning that your data is gone.

Me:Say that again.

Staff:  Madam calm down

Me: I say, say that again!!!   I shouted at him

What vexed me the most was the nonchalant attitude the man dey use to address my matter as if to say two thousand naira na 2 kobo for this hard economy!!. 

By now all the blood in my body were rushing to my head colliding with every vein, artery, bone and marrow( is this what they call high blood pressure huh?) o dikwa very dangerous my people.!

Slowly some of the blood entered my eyes and all I was seeing was blood, blood, blood!!! 

I weighed the man, the man too big for me , I no go fit beat am, I began to curse am in Igbo. 

Ara gbagbuo gi inugo? Asim kitikpa rachaa gi anya, thunder gbarie gi isi there!

The way the man was looking at me, it’s like he does not understand igbo, i switched over to Yoruba.

Ole , oloshi, , oloriburuku somebody! 

I checked his face e be like say im no dey hear Yoruba, I switched over to hausa.

Waka, shege, banzaaaaaa! I screamed.

The man still dey  watch me with a dazed look, e be like say im dey enjoy the drama wey I dey act.

 I weighed the man again, still, he's too big for me , ah no  fit try am.

I began to cry, *oh my data, my dataaa, my 2 gib oooooo!!!*

People started consoling me, one man actually offered me a condolence message *take heart madam, please accept my sympathy, God has given God has taken. Take heart you hear*

I looked at the man and sighed, *craze people everywhere you go*. I just got up ,wiped my face and walked out dejectedly. 

Since that time, i dey look mtn and their offers with one kain eye. rubbish!!


stay rosy


Please leave a comment, your comment is like meat pie to me ( i luv meat pie sotay, if you garnish am with *kill and dry*, ah go still chop am lol) 


  1. chai, I feel ur pain chy n I gotta say, it's a hard one but defntly we'l muv on n b beta, hopefully der is better data bundle comming ur wayn u neva know...

    greetings from ‎#leXHansplaCE

  2. my dear the thing pain me no be small. it'well. thanks for stopping by.

  3. Lol, mtn n their wahala. Everybody has one annoying story abt dem. and d annoying part u they ur own o, them find u come wth trouble.

  4. na sooo. don't mind them. thanks for visiting.