Friday, 15 January 2016


I was en route Lagos from the east in a luxurious bus. Luckily a guy was sitting beside me. You know as a babe, if you are going on a long journey, it’s always wise to sit beside a guy. 

This is ‘cos you never can tell whether you two will strike a chord, as a single girl on the loose na hehe. Above all, you are sure of food and other goodies on the way if the guy is generous.

Sometimes your plan will backfire o hehe. This reminds me of an ugly experience I had one certain time.

 I was travelling to Lagos as well but in a hummer bus. Two guys were dragging for my attention, I settled for the handsome guy. Not only was he handsome but he speaks very well too.

 Poor me, I didn’t know that the bobo na fine boy no money. When we reached ore in Benin City, people were buying this, buying that but bobo no move. In fact he no even buy anything for himself not to talk of buying ordinary pure water for me.

 He was busy telling me his life history, how his first girlfriend broke his heart, how  the second  broke his  heart and how the third broke his heart also and I’m the fourth and he hopes that I don’t break his heart too. *why they no go break your heart with this your stinginess* I thought to myself.

To make matters worse, the other guy that i snubbed was busy buying this and that. He was sitting directly behind me and after eating; he will open my own window and throw the remainder away. 

He will eat banana, throws the peel out through my window, drinks lacasera , throws  the bottle out through my window  eats gala, suya, egg and throws the debris through my own window.

 He has his own window o! as he was sitting close to the glass but he chose to torment me. Chai that experience taught me a big lesson.

Back to the story, so I was happy that a guy is my *neighbor* on this particular journey. As usual,  the bobo started to chat with me.

*Nne kee ije?*

*Fine* I answered

*Are you a campus girl?* he questioned

*Campus girl?*

*I mean which campus do you attend? You know we business men like campus girl well well.* he said with a grin.

*Oh, I attend unizik campus* i replied

*Ok, that’s very good.* Just then a voice cuts in *we have food in this bus, anything you want, rice, chicken, meat, fish and assorted soft drinks .

*Nne my name is ekene but my friends call me kendo, what is your own name?*

I pretended not to hear him as I focused my attention on the food seller, I was even yawning anyhow, I no send. He got the message and told me to make my order.

 I ordered for rice with chicken, meat and fish all rolled in one*abeg no blame me, nke onye riri ka o bu ala*

As the man brought the food, he said,*sister we have assorted drinks o. I gave *my guy* a side glance. He told me to make my choice. *give me malt* I ordered.

The guy told me that he sells female wears and that he’s going to Lagos to clear his goods that just landed in the wharf.* I don catch big fish, God I thank you o* I thought to myself. 

We exchanged numbers and he promised to call.
True to his words he calls me daily and sends cash as well. I was happy, finally God don send me a rich husband. The guy never propose o but I don dey claim am by faith!

Then one day, I got a call with an unknown number, it was a female voice:

*Hello chidimma! chidimma!! chiidimma!!!*.The voice was shouting hysterically

*Who is this please? Why are you shouting my name like this, who are you?* I shouted back.

*Do you know ekene, you met him on a luxurious bus on the way to Lagos?* I just kept silent dey listen

*Ok this is to let you know that he is married with three children. See eh I’m warning you to stay away from him or else you will not live to regret it.*

I cut the call with immediate effect and fell face down on the bed with fear and trembling. so much trouble for ordinary husband!

stay chic
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