WEEKEND GIST:THE DIARY OF A 30YR OLD SINGLE LADY EPISODE 1

The hustle for husband became real after my youth service. All my girlfriends were either getting married or engaged. Those who are neither married nor engaged already have a man who they swear must marry them or…………………

One day I was in a bus when my eyes caught a church banner displayed along the road and it reads:

 *The return of his glory. Need a husband? Come and collect one.*

I quickly noted down the address and made up my mind to go the following day. The next day, I woke up very early so as to be the first to get to the church.* who knows how many girls that must have seen the banner huh? They might be writing names and picking numbers sef. Abeg make I rush  so that my number go be no 1* I mumbled. 

Just then my phone rang, it was my girlfriend Anita.* Hello babe wattsup? *

" Anita how far na?" i asked impatiently

*I’m fine o; I’m on my way to your house now*

*Hei wait I’m going out o* i said quickly

*Where to?* she asked

*Somewhere* i replied curtly.

*OK, wait for me let me accompany you*

I quickly switched off my phone, wore my cloth and dashed out of the house, *this girl na monitoring spirit o, don’t worry by the time you get here, you will not see me, follow follow demon!

I rushed down to the church and met the pastor.*welcome sister, God bless you*

*Bless you too pastor, errmmm………….without wasting much time, I saw your banner along okpara avenue.*

*Yes..? He enthused

*So I’m here to grab my own husband*. I answered excitedly.

 The man became weak; he released a deep long breath. Me, I just siddon kampe dey watch am. No time for nonsense. After all na dem find me first.

*Sister  first of all, are you born again? He asked

*Gbam! I gave my life to Christ since 1999.* I answered sharply

*When was the last time you slept with a man?*

*Whaaaaat?*

*I mean do you commit fornication?* he queried.

Which kain question be all this eh?" i asked getting worked up.

 *It’s alright sister* he said calmly.

The pastor started flipping through his bible. Me, I was busy darting my eyes here and there trying to locate where they kept the husbands. I want to select Mr tall dark and handsome before it runs out of stock. No time for nonsense!

The pastor’s voice jolted me back to reality.*sister the bible said in the book of mathew…….. Seek ye first the kingdom of God and its righteousness, all other things shall be added unto you. ......Husband is not a problem.

*Really? Then dash me one, make I dey go. Time no dey!" i screamed

*OK, firstly you have to come for deliverance for seven days. Secondly, you have to become our member, attend all our services both morning and evening, thirdly………* 

I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up angrily and lashed at him*see una life eh! I dey my own dey mind my business. Una carry husband matter come put for road, now give me the husband, na so so tori. If I swear for you, if I carry bad mind swear for you eh, your anointing go turn to annoyance, rubbish!

I picked my bag and stormed out. So much trouble for a husband biko!

weekend gist comes up every Saturday. it is a story of what a single lady passed through in search of a husband . it promises to be fun, hilarious and entertaining. WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 2 next week Saturday..

stay chic

sylvia

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